Why I’m a horrible girlfriend

I was over at Very Smart Brothas when I saw Panama Jackson’s post on things that make it hard to date him.  I thought it’d be interesting if I did the same.

1) I’m messy. Lawd. There are times I get home from work and strip at the top of the stairs.  Those clothes will lay there until they become a health hazard ie,they pile up so high I’m about to fall down the stairs and crack open my skull.

2) I don’t sleep.  Sometimes I’m awake at 3am for no reason.  Living alone means I get to get up and watch something on the computer, start cooking, or whatever.  If there’s someone else in the house I turn into a child and want to play.  It’s a shame.

3) My attention span is crazy short. One second I want to paint a pretty picture.  A minute and a half later I’m doing yoga in my skivvies on the living room floor.

4) When I’m hungry, I’m HUNGRY. There comes a point in my day when I need to eat. I go from a wee bit snackish to monster in the produce aisle faster than a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport.  I’m a pescatarian, but almost chowed down on some beef jerky in the middle of Texas because it was the only healthy option at the gas station.

5) I’m not afraid of you. I have an ex who was used to dating women who would buckle at the sound of him raising his voice, or cower when he raised his fist. Once, he stormed out during a pretty brutal fight we were having and threw his shoulder into me on his way out. My response was, “Mother Fkcer, if you wanna throw down, let’s throw down.” If any of my future boyfriends, lovers, spouses or interested parties go violent I am not afraid to kick someone’s ass. I’m not the one.

6) Eating habits.  I eat a well-balanced diet at meals.  Mostly vegetables and proteins + a few carbs.  In between meals however? It’s a wrap.  I love baking things from scratch so I have no problem making cupcakes, cookies, and baking a baguette so they’re “sitting around the house.” Then, when I find myself feenin’ I’m quick to go to the grocery store and raid the candy and chip aisle.  Afterwards when my stomach hurts and I feel all bloated I unbuckle my pants and settle in for the night. There’s not getting me to go anywhere. I’m terrible.

7) Sometimes, I’m just dirty. I really don’t think it’s that important to shower everyday.  Granted, if an occasion arises *wink wink* and I know I need to be clean I will hop to it. BUT I also believe there is nary a thing wrong with skipping a shower for a few extra winks.