and then i pooped myself
So, I’ve been waiting for — let’s call it cashola — since 12/6/2010. That’s the date I was given by the unemployment office when I asked when my compensation would begin. It is now 1/28/11 and I have still received nothing. I’ve called once a week (sometimes more) every week to understand the hold up. For the sake of time I’ll offer a list of buzz words/phrases:
- 9.1% unemployment rate
- Alternate base year
- Combined wage claim
- Possible previous employer retaliation
- My life is just ridiculous
I finally get a check in the mail from –let’s call it an “alternate anticipated income” yesterday. I’d been waiting for that puppy for a few weeks. So, I deposit the check and go home. There’s a temporary hold until everything clears. I get that.
This morning I wake up. I check my account balance and…
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY RED NUMBERS IN MY LIFE.
My stomach melts into a diarrheic mess. My throat gets dry. I feel faint.
I call around for information and encounter electronic voice recognition software out the wazoo. One of my conversation went like this:
Voice: Hello, how may I help you today?
Me: Speak to an associate.
Voice: Would you like to speak with an associate?
Voice: Go ahead.
I looked around the room at my pretend audience for empathy. “Go ahead.” Nice.
So I call my bank and because the state where I opened my account is weird I have to speak with a specialist in that state. So I am rerouted for the 5th time this morning. All-the-while, my account still looks like this:
At least that’s what it looks like to me.The computer won’t let me change the color so now I have to type in red. Great.
So I will be calm for as long as it takes to straighten this out. Until I understand what’s happening, I won’t eat anything. I can’t afford to keep soiling my underwear.
And yes. I had a slice of chocolate cake, a cookie, and a glass of milk for breakfast. Not gonna lie.
Update: 1-29-11 ALL IS WELL! The red (in my bank account) is gone and my world has been righted.