The internet’s prostitute

I want so many contradictory things. To change education while remaining a hermit who lives in a yurt.  A business that flourishes without pimping myself out to the electronic masses.

I just created a website for my business and I’m exhausted.  The minute I thought I could possibly be finished I saw a picture that was out of line, inconsistent text, or wanted to add a new quote.  I’m not even using HTML and my brain is fried.

The computer has been my only vision for so long I think my retina is singed.  I want this to work, but I don’t want it to overwork me.   I don’t know what I’m doing in the grand scheme of things. I don’t have a business degree, and I’m not planning on getting one. I only know my vision and I can work towards that.  Step number one? Secure funding.  If I thought 19more was time consuming now? What am I going to think when I’m in grad school full-time, writing grant proposals, working full-time, trying to get to know a new city, and launching a business.  I have a blog for me — this is it, a blog for my website, and a blog for 19more.  Will I ever run out of things to say? Yes.  Has it happened?  Maybe, but I don’t think so. My inspiration is born of my interactions with others. I haven’t truly interacted with others in days. I go back to work tomorrow and I NEED to submit this application for a job today.  It has to happen. TODAY.

I’m surrounded by the feeling that I’m not good enough and this is all for naught :(.  <– look, it’s  smiley face with a dimple.  

I will be okay.  That is meant as a statement of reassurance rather than a definitive reality.de

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