The internet’s prostitute
I want so many contradictory things. To change education while remaining a hermit who lives in a yurt. A business that flourishes without pimping myself out to the electronic masses.
I just created a website for my business and I’m exhausted. The minute I thought I could possibly be finished I saw a picture that was out of line, inconsistent text, or wanted to add a new quote. I’m not even using HTML and my brain is fried.
The computer has been my only vision for so long I think my retina is singed. I want this to work, but I don’t want it to overwork me. I don’t know what I’m doing in the grand scheme of things. I don’t have a business degree, and I’m not planning on getting one. I only know my vision and I can work towards that. Step number one? Secure funding. If I thought 19more was time consuming now? What am I going to think when I’m in grad school full-time, writing grant proposals, working full-time, trying to get to know a new city, and launching a business. I have a blog for me — this is it, a blog for my website, and a blog for 19more. Will I ever run out of things to say? Yes. Has it happened? Maybe, but I don’t think so. My inspiration is born of my interactions with others. I haven’t truly interacted with others in days. I go back to work tomorrow and I NEED to submit this application for a job today. It has to happen. TODAY.
I’m surrounded by the feeling that I’m not good enough and this is all for naught :(. <– look, it’s smiley face with a dimple.
I will be okay. That is meant as a statement of reassurance rather than a definitive reality.de