It’s officially depression sans the emotional kickback

It’s impossible to start over. Regardless of intent, we enter into situations with prior knowledge. We can’t help but approach situations with the clarity or baggage of before.

I’m not naive enough to think that starting over with dating is possible. I’ve learned what it is about me that’s attractive to others. I’m going to highlight those attributes with the hopes of attracting someone. I know what I don’t like about men. I’m not going to approach gentlemen who have the characteristics of someone I know I’m not attracted to. I’ve learned enough about dating to realize that everyone is different and that everything doesn’t work out like fairy tales.
Fighting for everything I have has presented me with the, often forgotten, clarity that everything worth having is worth fighting for. Friends have said that love is “easy.” It won’t be for me. Nothing for me is easy…. Nothing will ever be easy. I’m not the girl who a man notices in a sea or beauty, singles out, and begins to “court.” That’s just not my story. I would like it to be because I want to feel valued. I feel valued when people pursue me. But its not that easy. Nothing for me is easy.