Take me or leave me

Giving it till Thursday and if I don’t hear from him by then I will conclude he’s not interested.  I could rattle off statements which affirm me and belittle him, but I’d be a liar. I like(d) him.  He’s nice person.  It appeared as though he was interested.   

A deadline gives my heart permission to stop caring.  It’s hard when the person you’d like to be in a relationship with, or at least get to know better, doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.  Especially when your ex is engaged to your friend whom he lusted after during most of your relationship.  It kinda messes with your self worth.

When I was with Seth and even Ricardo I didn’t think about him. I seldom think about them, but they were the furthest thing from my mind when it appeared that I was going to be involved in something very good in the near future.  But now that I feel like a failure — I know I’m not — I tend to analyze what I keep getting wrong and they’ve gotten so right.

Work also exhausted me this weekend. I’m running on low and need to rejuvenate myself.  I keep getting up early and it’s depleted my life source.  I refuse to ignore how I feel today. I will welcome it with a bowed head and open arms.  “Here I am world beat me up if you so desire. I will take it like a fat kid takes a punch. I’ll play dead for a minute or two, but then I’ll get up when I think the danger is gone and hustle home for supper.”