Still

I haven’t thought about him for awhile. He began dating another — a friend, and that hurt for a long time. But now, I’m at a place where I 1) don’t think of him/them often 2) if I do think of him I may long for him for a moment but then I remember his addiction and how it eats at him and the longing and sorrow pass 3) I think of him for who he is and what we stood for and I’m glad we’re not a “we” anymore.

I’ve begun “dating” again. Although good men are such a commodity that they seem to have an upper hand in this itty bitty town (perhaps state) I call home. I also struggle being here. But I struggle leaving. My life was determined by so much movement for awhile it’s been nice to sit and be still. But, then I don’t want to be stagnant. I’ve found a home base which is eerily similar to my safety net from the past, and I’m okay for awhile. I’d like to beef up my savings, and be teetering on the positive end of the financial balance beam before I make a move. I think that’s what God wants me to do. Get my savings, credit, and general self together and then walk in the way I should go.
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